Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Spanking Lessons

     As I stated in my first post (Spanking An Older Woman) my newfound relationship with a woman 15 years my senior included spanking as an integral part of foreplay, and it was a fairly common occurrence that my girlfriend would be over my knee with her lovely bare bottom facing upward. After years of thinking about spanking, and yearning to have someone who would willingly submit to being spanked, I felt simply overwhelmed and couldn't believe my luck. I still think fondly of those early days in our relationship and remember how I felt so happy to finally have someone who I could share this "secret" with.
     I think that my girlfriend (let's call her "Deana", not her real name) felt the same way. After a lifetime full of accomplishments, amazing experiences, a marriage, and I'm sure some exciting love affairs as well, I'm sure that she was excited to be involved with someone who seemed to enjoy spanking just as much as she did.
     I say "presumed" because, to be honest with you, we NEVER talked about it with each other. Sure, we DID it just fine, and I of course never turned down the opportunity to give her a spanking. We would talk and joke about other aspects of our sex life, and I am sure that I made it clear through my actions that I loved spanking her, but the subject was never breached. In hindsight, our relationship could have been so much better (and there could have been even more and better spankings) if both of us had developed the courage to simply be honest about how we felt.
     Even today I wonder, why was I so shy about it? Clearly I had a passion for spanking, and so did she. Once I got beyond the initial shyness and my reluctance to give her too much pain during a spanking, you would think that we would have openly discussed it at length. We certainly discussed other important topics and did so without embarassment or shame.
     There is a set of e-books circulating in the spanko community that presumably teach the readers how to give a spanking, and how to ask for and receive one. I haven't read them yet, but I hear that they are excellent. Not surprising since the author of the books has one of the best spanking blogs on the internet. I wish that such books would have been available to me many years ago, and I think younger people are lucky to have information like that available.
     I for one am very happy that, by the miracle of the internet, the "spanking community" has found a way to finally communicate and to connect with each other. Whether someone is into spanking for purely sexual reasons, or a couple has adopted domestic discipline as a way of bringing order and structure to their lives, there are blogs, websites, and social networking sites that allow spankos to finally break free from their isolation and to come out of their closet. Nobody has to be embarrassed or ashamed of being a spanko anymore, and perhaps even two spankos in a relationship can actually TALK to each other about spanking.

 Is that progress, or what?


  1. JD:
    I marinated on the 'net for about a year (esp. Taken in Hand and My Bottom Smarts) before the spark was fanned into flame. Once we got started the ebooks poured gas on the fire. Without the 'net (even with consent) I don't think I would've have been stretched enough to be comfortable with TTWD. I agree...that's progress.

    Insightful post. Welcome to the blogosphere.

  2. I agree that it is progress. I also spent a very long time just being stagnant and wishing that things would change but not being confident enough to make the first step. It is the people that post the real-life information that made the difference for me. I applaud anyone that is willing to post because it helps all of us in one way or another.

    BTW--I was also reluctant to discuss spanking with my partner, and I too cannot say exactly why.

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